The best way to get over something is to go thru it. I am an overanalyzer by nature, I take my problems to a Google search, aggregate solutions that make sense to me and try to figure out the best and quickest strategy away from pain and back to peace. And even with the endless blog posts and chapters of self-help books I’ve read, I’ve found something not so astonishing.
The best and quickest strategy away from pain and back to peace is simply to go thru it. This means whatever painful emotion you’re feeling, to do these 3 things:
1. Accept the feeling. Often times the biggest hurdle is accepting what you feel. We get so caught up in blocking out feelings because hey we’ve got so much going for ourselves, we shouldn’t feel bad ever, right? Wrong. Gratitude and pain do not have to be juxtaposed against one another. Yes, it is possible to feel unhappy for a moment and still appreciative.
2. Feel the feeling. Now that you’ve jumped the biggest hurdle, create a space where you can be emotionally naked and allow all the emotions to release. Suppressed emotions only seem to wait for the most “inconvenient time” to release, so why not intentionally release these emotions in a space you feel safest to do so?
3. Understand the feeling is temporary. We toss back and forth between feeling “deserving” of a bad emotion and even may feel that when we allow ourselves to feel it all, that the feeling will never go away. Ironically, suppressing the very emotion you may be afraid to feel, will only exacerbate the emotion once it finally is released. When you do finally feel the feeling, understand you will not feel this way forever. The sooner you release, the better you will feel better.
Emotion can be messy. I get it. And you may feel split in half – a logical side and an emotional side. The logical side says, you’ll feel better in time. The emotional side says nothing, but instead leaves you choking back tears. This internal battle can leave you exhausted. But there is no “right” way to approach emotions. There is only the best way for you.
Embrace the emotional side in you, it’s what makes you human. I have my own challenge valuing my emotions and I’m learning each day how to better accept this side of me. Maybe it is as simple as, we’re human, we have emotions and we each handle them differently. As long as we take the time to honor rather than dismiss our emotions, we can start to see them as assets rather than hindrances to our life.