I was having an exchange with anxiety the afternoon of Sunday and for a good portion of yesterday. It was triggered after a recent conversation with a guy I'm interested in. Almost immediately afterwards, my mind rushed with the thoughts of the future:
"Does he find me interesting?"
"Does he see me as more than a friend?"
"If he sees me as more than a friend and things don't work, I don't feel like dealing with another heartbreak."
Now, how I jumped from not even knowing if he's interested to heart break is beyond me.
I had to catch myself. Like a cat on a mouse, I was swift with my movements and quick to observe how anxiety was talking to me.
Anxiety is not me. Anything negative, anything pertaining to the ego is not me and it's neither you. So, it helps to externalize any negative feeling into something outside of yourself so that you can sit with it - without judgement - and observe.
And so, as I was about to tear up, I thought, wait - let's see what the anxiety is doing here. I implemented what Eckhart Tolle says as "observing the mind." And just like that - with a slight change in perspective, I was able to return to peace.
I was able to see where my anxious thoughts were stemming from and able to acknowledge that yes it may be the case that things end it heartbreak, it may be the case that nothing happens at all, or it could even be the case that things do go as I would have liked but keeping in mind no matter the outcome, life is happening for me was enough to bring back my smile.
Whether it's anxiety, pain, or any kind of discontent in your life, I encourage you to:
1. Externalize whatever the issue is. Realize first, that you are not the issue, make it as something outside of yourself.
2. Sit with the issue. Make no judgements but rather, just watch how it makes you feel, watch the thoughts that cross your mind, neither engage nor detach from them, simply watch.
3. Breathe thru it. Anytime I'm feeling discomfort, I take my attention back to my breath. And often times, I find I'm holding it, so, take the time to breath and release the frustration.
it's inevitable that we will face situations we would much rather avoid, but by taking the 3 steps above, it can at least make the pain a little bit more bearable increasing more peace in your life.