Last week was a week of endurance and letting go. Whether it was pushing through back to back bootcamps, answering behavioral interview questions (who doesn't love these?!), or dancing for 4 hours straight, endurance and letting go was the motto. I was reminded of times when I would get so caught up in my mind that I would run into a mental block and breakdown. But how would it look to be on the set of a video shoot and breaking down because I kept forgetting one step?
How would it look in my interview if I were to get up and walk out when I failed to come up with an answer to their question?
And then there was the construction happening in my apartment. Anyone who has had work done in their home can relate to feeling out of control and uneasy. Here I was, walking into my place, seeing my items in disarray, and ultimately drowning in exhaustion.
I had to 'save face' as some would say and hold it all together, wishing I had a moment to just shout.
I've talked about creating a space where you can be emotionally naked.
But what happens when you can't get to that space when needed? What happens when your emotions are about to bubble over?
Validating your emotions and having a place of release doesn't necessarily have to be this segmented part of our lives.
While I do believe that creating separate but functional spaces such as a home gym used only for working out or a home office used only for work can be helpful in focusing, sometimes it's just not realistic for what we may need at a specific time.
Sometimes we need that place of emotional safety to be a mentality rather than a physical space.
So, in my interview, during the photo shoot, and while planking in my workout class, I let go.
I pushed myself until there was nothing left, keeping in mind that whatever happens, I'll be fine.
I switched my perspective from "oh no, oh no, what happens if," to "let's adjust to what's happening now".
Too many times we're caught up in what is happening next that we don't allow ourselves to be the best we can in the present moment.
As Eckhart Tolle has sad, "be in the Now, the future will take care of itself. Whatever tools or knowledge you need will always be available in the Now. Not in the past, not in the future, Now."
I took that with me and walked of the set whipping my cornrows over my shoulder.